I find myself procrastinating each time I try to write about abuse.
I will keep this short.
If your friend has experienced spiritual abuse or leadership abuse, or any other kind of abuse, please do not tell him or her to get over it.
Please do not tell him or her to just move on.
If you have experienced spiritual abuse or leadership abuse, or any other kind of abuse, be kind to yourself. Healing takes time.
It is a long journey back to wholeness.
I believe when we experience abuse, it is a violation against a very deep part of us.
I believe this is why abuse is so shattering.
We would not tell a battered and bruised woman to just get up, get over it, and move on.
We would extend kindness and compassion.
We would listen to her experience.
We would embrace her in safe, healthy community.
A person who is abused spiritually or abused by a leader may not have bruises on the outside, but he or she may be bruised almost beyond recognition on the inside.
Extend kindness and compassion.
Listen to his or her experience.
Embrace him or her in safe, healthy community.
As I write this, I feel a familiar fear response in my heart. I almost feel dizzy once again. It is hard to hold on to my thoughts.
But I am finally at the point that I do not panic when I see someone who reminds me of someone else. I trust my intuition and discernment again. I feel joy again where joy had been taken away.
Healing takes time.
But over time, healing will come.
About: Jenny Switkes is a professor of mathematics at California State Polytechnic University, Pomona, where she has the joy of mentoring many first-generation college students from diverse backgrounds. She also serves as a volunteer pastor at Rise OC Church in Costa Mesa, California.
Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash